The Top Gear Motoring Ashes

Posted by Tim Robson at 5:55 pm on Tuesday September 21, 2010
So if you were going into a competition against Clarkson, Hammond and May, what would you bring? This was something Shane Jacobson, Steve Pizzati and I had to ponder before taking on The Boys in The Ashes Challenge, showing on Nine next Tuesday night. I mean, they were hosting us. Clarkson even took us out to dinner.
What to give them… the services of a reputable hairdresser, perhaps? Or a course in dental hygiene? Maybe a personal trainer… Nah. Can’t change the habits of three lifetimes. Instead, we gave them three neatly bundled metal packages.
And to find out what these were, you’ll have to tune in next week.
Relaaaax – it’s worth it.
Okay, predicting a collective TV orgasm before your audience has settled on the lounge is always risky, but I reckon even the loneliest, angriest TopGear anorak coming to this website will find plenty of entertainment in this special.
Here’s kind of how it goes. There’s a welcome of sorts from Jeremy, after which he urges us to go explore Britain to discover the overpopulated island’s many motoring delights.
We’re to later meet him and his mates for a series of challenges to determine whether Australia or England gets to hold a brilliant new sporting title: The Motoring Ashes. Cue cricketing analogy, etc.
Shane,  Steve and I then drive terrible cars, are nearly killed by wild animals, pedal three unbelievable supercars on the unlimited-speed roads of the Isle of Man and… well… other stuff goes down. Then it’s back to take on The Nigels (they called us The Bruces, so it only seemed fair…) in sheep herding, drag racing, drifting, upside-down racing and rallying.
So, here are a few photos to whet your appetite. Let the conversations/arguments/restraining orders begin!
Ewen Page
  1. Black dog said...
    Tuesday September 21, 2010 at 6:29 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Ok then – is that a new stig with steve?

  2. reeksyofoz said...
    Tuesday September 21, 2010 at 7:00 pm Link to comment Report comment

    who’s Jeremy?

    … let me know if you need a proofreader.

  3. mach1 said...
    Tuesday September 21, 2010 at 7:26 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Smells of match fixing!!!!

  4. jonsieluke said...
    Tuesday September 21, 2010 at 8:31 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Clarkson buying dinner ? What is this ?

  5. Paulie said...
    Tuesday September 21, 2010 at 10:25 pm Link to comment Report comment

    So glad to see Top Gear AU back, looking forward to meeting the new hosts and scolding some poms! Go Aussie!

  6. Ewen Page said...
    Tuesday September 21, 2010 at 10:38 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Match fixing? I so wish. I’d take the cash without a second thought.
    And when I said Clarkson ‘bought dinner’, I’m assuming a bad curry and cheap port qualify…

  7. only one owner said...
    Tuesday September 21, 2010 at 10:51 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Having seen bits and pieces of this, it is a hoot loved meeting you on the 10th Ewen. How ever I will miss its showing sailing back to Melb form Adelaide so I get to download it to watch when i get back I hope.

    It will be nice to have you back Listening to Steve on the radio is not enough

  8. Ewen Page said...
    Wednesday September 22, 2010 at 7:37 am Link to comment Report comment

    Happy sailing, Winona!

  9. Canberra Reader said...
    Wednesday September 22, 2010 at 7:55 am Link to comment Report comment

    Sweet!

    Awfully nice of Jeremy to invite you guys around to his house for a pyjama party.

  10. jil said...
    Wednesday September 22, 2010 at 8:09 am Link to comment Report comment

    Saw some of this at the filming in Syd – very funny. Looking forward to seeing the whole episode.

  11. Buntz said...
    Wednesday September 22, 2010 at 2:15 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Sweet… this will be awesomesauce.

  12. SHELBYGT500 said...
    Wednesday September 22, 2010 at 3:20 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Aussie, Aussie, Aussie.
    If the Aussies win i will kick every English car in Australia.
    Let the Aussies win!!!
    Lets show Jeremy that we are not only a country full of spiders, but we are also a country that has talent. And may i also add, Jeremy that we do have some great roads

  13. captain slow said...
    Wednesday September 22, 2010 at 4:13 pm Link to comment Report comment

    this series might stand a chance with shane just don’t cock it up like the last 2 muppets

  14. only one owner said...
    Wednesday September 22, 2010 at 4:24 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Captain Slow, wait and see. As I said before what I witnessed at the taping bodes well. It is a hoot. As for cocking it up Yes there were problems but the inability of people to accept another version were the real issues. The strident critics with abusive tunnel vision tended to overshadow and color peoples judgement

  15. jadster98 said...
    Wednesday September 22, 2010 at 6:40 pm Link to comment Report comment

    I think the show will be the best show everr! and i dont like top gear australia as they try too heard to be like the englishmen

  16. Australian Ingenuity said...
    Wednesday September 22, 2010 at 7:22 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Why is Australian Topgear not reviewing true Australian ingenuity like “This. Is. Sparta!”?

    Let Clarkson,May & Hammond show us the cars that are made on Mass that we can’t afford.
    And Australian Top Gear show us the Cars built in the shed.

  17. Shiney Car said...
    Thursday September 23, 2010 at 1:05 pm Link to comment Report comment

    are the Paki’s running the book on who’s going to win?
    I’m really hoping the “new” Aussie Top Gear is better than on that substandard channel..
    I’ve been a fan of TG since day one and I’m very happy it’s going great guns.Keep up the good work.
    P.S What did Shane (Kenny) think of the pommie porta loo?

  18. ljc said...
    Thursday September 23, 2010 at 2:13 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Why not consider us as the allies, the countries that had to come together to beat the germans. May be produce an episode where the oz and uk teams can take on the nurburgring. LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE. Just remember as clarkson said and i quote,`the french are cheese eating surrender monkeys’.

  19. oxide393 said...
    Thursday September 23, 2010 at 2:44 pm Link to comment Report comment

    This looks brilliant. Good idea to make this whoever thought of it. I can’t wait to see Clarkson’s response to Kenny (Shane) showing up. Finally something good about Topgear Australia (TV show).

  20. only one owner said...
    Thursday September 23, 2010 at 2:44 pm Link to comment Report comment

    the french might be cheese eating surrender monkeys but “your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberry’s”

  21. ljc said...
    Thursday September 23, 2010 at 2:49 pm Link to comment Report comment

    a bit touchy eh, thats why france’s national anthem at the time was, Dr Hook’s, walk right in sit right down baby let your hair hang down. And i did quote.

  22. only one owner said...
    Thursday September 23, 2010 at 3:51 pm Link to comment Report comment

    No ljc not touchy but you obviously don’t know your monty python otherwise you would get the reference and the humor

  23. awsome said...
    Thursday September 23, 2010 at 4:55 pm Link to comment Report comment

    i dont like top gear aus i prefer the normal one

  24. I said...
    Thursday September 23, 2010 at 6:32 pm Link to comment Report comment

    I stopped watching TGA because I found Steve Pizzati extremely annyoing.
    When they changed the lineup I hoped he was gone.
    I would watch Australian Top Gear again if Steve Pizzati wasn’t on it.

  25. NottheKiingswood said...
    Friday September 24, 2010 at 4:59 am Link to comment Report comment

    I dont think TGA was ever trying to be a carbon copy of TG UK, just a similar concept in a very different part of the world. Dont be a knocker, give it a watch. Oh, and if you think you can do a lot better, post your efforts on youtube.

  26. Ur Mutha said...
    Friday September 24, 2010 at 4:47 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Cheers to the TG-Oz boys for giving their best shot at glory. Hey, the UK show is going down the John these days, so maybe these guys could even produce a better show??

  27. ljc said...
    Friday September 24, 2010 at 4:54 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Mr owner you are right, i just havnt watched the mont for a few years.yee haa.

  28. Stig's cousin said...
    Friday September 24, 2010 at 4:54 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Clarkson has seriously f**ked up the regular TG show. His head has inflated so much that all the hot air inside him would turn him into a hot-air balloon. Ha!

  29. ljc said...
    Friday September 24, 2010 at 4:55 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Oh yes i will also be watching topgear oz.

  30. Ash8 said...
    Friday September 24, 2010 at 10:08 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Gee I hope TG UK and Australia improves and talks/reviews cars that people buy like in 2003/4/5. I am sick of hearing about Porsche, AM, MB, Ferrari and Audi and French cars…In the early years they talked about all cars. The NEWS is also now rubbish…as there is NO NEWS talked about anymore..

  31. happycitroen said...
    Sunday September 26, 2010 at 11:34 am Link to comment Report comment

    Really looking forward to this! Next year we should get the UK TG3 over here and see who’s the real man (or lady) when the challenge is to get a spider the size of your face out of the bath! No spider squashing please!

  32. only one owner said...
    Sunday September 26, 2010 at 1:20 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Good to see lots more positive comments than negative ones. I get sick of TGA bashing, butr then I am an unashamed fan always have. I agree with Ur Mutha TGUK has been going down hill a fresh Aussie perspective is needed

  33. Tess said...
    Monday September 27, 2010 at 3:01 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Great to see the Holden(monaro), Falcon(gt) and Valiant(charger) in the promo. I hope they are given some serious time and not just a 5 second mention.

  34. Mystro said...
    Monday September 27, 2010 at 3:26 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Why are thet sticking with this stupid version of Top Gear. It is only the interaction between Jeremy, Hampster and Captain slow that makes the show work.

    Either find some Ausies with the same humour or just drop it and focus on the UK version. The main host could not host a dog fight and has as much appeal as Julia Gilard.

  35. only one owner said...
    Monday September 27, 2010 at 5:58 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Mystro people like you are pathetic, And if you weren’t at any of the tapings then what would you know.

  36. go the six said...
    Monday September 27, 2010 at 9:32 pm Link to comment Report comment

    I will admit to being sceptical but after only being into the show for the last year (fanatic – have downloaded all eps and love em all)I am looking forward to the Oz version for a fresh perspective. I think that the UK boys have their own great style down and hope that the Oz boys can be themselves and funny at the same time… Good luck!

  37. Nylex Gardenia said...
    Tuesday September 28, 2010 at 12:21 am Link to comment Report comment

    How about showing some classic Aussie panel vans for some fond memories of the good ol’ days! Hope the Aussie Knockers give the new series a chance, I’m sure it will have a personality all it’s own!

    Good luck Pagey, I’m sure you will do Trev proud.

  38. Soeren said...
    Tuesday September 28, 2010 at 7:40 am Link to comment Report comment

    Very sad they dumped the one with the big moustache!

  39. Ewen Page said...
    Tuesday September 28, 2010 at 10:16 am Link to comment Report comment

    Aaah Nylex. There you are. Try not to throw a brick through the TV, eh?

  40. Maddog Racing said...
    Tuesday September 28, 2010 at 12:08 pm Link to comment Report comment

    I am Looking Forward to this Mix up!! Awesome..

  41. thats a pie said...
    Tuesday September 28, 2010 at 12:37 pm Link to comment Report comment

    TG UK has been slowly turning me into a Pom so it will be good to get the balance back. Very much looking forward to tonight’s ep!

  42. Mai said...
    Tuesday September 28, 2010 at 6:20 pm Link to comment Report comment

    *is suffering from withdrawal*
    YAAAY!
    That is all.
    (Oh and please tell me the Monk will be in on this… *lol*)

  43. Shannon said...
    Tuesday September 28, 2010 at 8:53 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Just watching the new aussie series and wow the new aussie threesome hosts are 1000% more watchable then the 2008 – 2009 trio. Well done on finding a compatable three!!

  44. Ronnie Coleman said...
    Tuesday September 28, 2010 at 9:06 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Man the Australian show sucks. ‘Lets run up the back of each other just like Hammond does to May teheeheehee we’re soooo creative”.

    Hosts have zero comedic value.

  45. hebu said...
    Tuesday September 28, 2010 at 9:19 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Channel 9. The emergence of Top Gear Australia once again has once again made me deeply ashamed to admit i am Australian. For heavens sake please let this idea die. At least til you have found some real hosts that have at least an ounce of charisma between them. Not only are the hosts horribly awkward, unconvincing and about as Australian as Paul Hogans “shrimp on the barbie” concept, but it is as clear as ever that none of them demonstrate any real knowledge about cars. The reason for this could be simply a case that none of them have a real passion for cars and what they mean to us Australians.

    Pleeeeeease – get it off TV. So many real fans are cringing everytime it comes on.
    I have a group of no less than 20 mates that all LOVE Top Gear UK and none of us can tolerate Top Gear Australia.

    The concept is great. And as patriotic aussies we are keen to support such an idea but PLEASE get some real hosts. ANYONE but these clowns.

  46. hebu said...
    Tuesday September 28, 2010 at 9:34 pm Link to comment Report comment

    double decker cars? the first time was kinda funny. this is just f00king silly!

    NEW HOSTS!!!! PLEEEEEEASE!

  47. only one owner said...
    Tuesday September 28, 2010 at 10:25 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Great show boys looking forward to “normal” transmission. When are they coming to OZ so we can whip there “asses”mind you being poms they will probably enjoy that

    To those asking for real hosts what do you mean by real? and what are real fans?
    Are those of us who support the OZ show fake fans?
    Please let me know so I might become real

  48. E said...
    Tuesday September 28, 2010 at 10:30 pm Link to comment Report comment

    This should be an annual episode, Each year it would toggle between Australia and the UK, just like the real ashes! So next year the Top Gear guys have to come down under to compete against the Top Gear Australia guys!.

    It would be awsome if they do this!

  49. E said...
    Tuesday September 28, 2010 at 10:34 pm Link to comment Report comment

    You need to give the hosts time! The first season of Top Gear had only one host. I think the three hosts for T G A are better then the ones from the previous episodes!

    They are real! its just because you haven’t gotten used to them YET.

  50. E said...
    Tuesday September 28, 2010 at 10:37 pm Link to comment Report comment

    I think the aussie studio (exeact copy of the uk one) should be scrapped, and redsign it with an aussie twist/taste/look.

  51. Ewen Page said...
    Tuesday September 28, 2010 at 11:10 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Hebu… are you on drugs?
    Of course, you’re entitled to your opinion regarding what’s funny and what’s not.
    But…
    It’s clear to you that Steve, Shane and I can’t demonstrate knowledge or passion?
    Really, you need to do your homework.
    You are aware of the backgrounds of the three presenters, right?
    And you thought the double-decker challenge was lame this time around?
    As was pointed out in the show, this was Jeremy’s idea (a good one, too).
    Glad you watched the show all the same.
    Tune in when the regular episodes come on.
    Maybe then you’ll have had a chance to make a more informed critique…

  52. dingo said...
    Tuesday September 28, 2010 at 11:12 pm Link to comment Report comment

    can any one tell me what the bikes the brits where riding were, the had BSA logo’s on them but as far as im aware triumph doesnt make anything like that the closest thing is a scrambler which looks nothing like it, where they just kx 250’s?

  53. Alex :) said...
    Tuesday September 28, 2010 at 11:57 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Pretty slow gooing tonight

    Music was poor, the tempo was slow, and the camera work feels like we hired the neighbours staff.

    First hour, was very difficult to watch. Why did we have old vauxhalls in the drifting?
    Who let the brits do that to us…. its not about cheating…it was just boring.

    Sorry lads tonight was not a hit

    The trailer looks promising – i hope u can make it work.. I will still watch :)

  54. gamack said...
    Wednesday September 29, 2010 at 8:59 am Link to comment Report comment

    those top gear australia presenters are the biggest monumental morons i have ever seen on television. Frankly i would rather stick a samuri sword up my bottom than watch pure crap. in fact i don’t think there is a difference betwen horse droppings and what came out of the mouths of the top gear australia presenters. watching top gear australia inspired me so much that i thought i should drive myself to the nearest psychiatric hospital and have myself admitted for depression. The new aussie presenters don’t have an original thought between them and their collective IQ is less than Jeremy’s shoe size!! Bring back the brilliant Jeremy, Richard and James!!!

  55. smacca said...
    Wednesday September 29, 2010 at 11:17 am Link to comment Report comment

    How come I have to go to you tube to watch complete episodes of TGA? Should full episodes not be supplied on your website??

  56. captain slow x said...
    Wednesday September 29, 2010 at 11:33 am Link to comment Report comment

    great show last night guys i think you have cracked it with the correct 3 blokes please do not cock it up shane jacobson and jezza what comedy act

  57. Tim Robson said...
    Wednesday September 29, 2010 at 11:57 am Link to comment Report comment

    Smacca, there’s two segments in the Video Player now, and another two will be up in a few minutes. Our content manager hiccuped at exactly the wrong moment last night – bear with us…

  58. Fair Go said...
    Wednesday September 29, 2010 at 12:11 pm Link to comment Report comment

    What’s up with all the knockers? Have YOU ever fronted a broadcast camera (and showing your bum on YouTube does not count) ? It may look easy but it is not. TGUK has been doing it with this combo since 2003, so they’ve been in the groove for a long time. Give our boys a chance because I doubt anyone on this forum – myself included – could do any better !

    I hope the Oz crew can keep up the high production values of the UK crew, even though I’m sure they’ll have a fraction of the budget. Get inventive lads !

  59. Wanderer said...
    Thursday September 30, 2010 at 2:47 am Link to comment Report comment

    Great start to the third series, I really enjoyed it!
    Well done!

  60. Car fanatic said...
    Thursday September 30, 2010 at 12:13 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Were the bikes that the Nigels were riding BSA’s? I knew Triumph’s and Norton’s were both being made again but I had not read anything about any new BSA’s.

  61. Korean Veryon said...
    Thursday September 30, 2010 at 9:32 pm Link to comment Report comment

    Guys ..good stuff with the new lineup …..Shane & Steve like your work …new guy errr not so sure just yet.. but give you time !….looking forward to the V8 supercar on Sydney roads !

  62. Ewen Page said...
    Friday October 1, 2010 at 1:16 am Link to comment Report comment

    Cheers – leave your judgement on me until the end of the series!

  63. guy said...
    Saturday October 2, 2010 at 8:36 pm Link to comment Report comment

    love to go on the top in double deacker racing upsidedown

  64. chrisco said...
    Sunday October 3, 2010 at 3:03 pm Link to comment Report comment

    loved the show guys. if the small clips are anything to go by the new version should be a good laugh. good luck, look forward to watching.

  65. Sexy thing said...
    Monday October 4, 2010 at 12:42 am Link to comment Report comment

    Oi seriously boys… I coundnt ever do a turd as crap as your show! Who uses the same stupid joke 8 times in a space of 8 minutes. I am usaually a proud australian… no longer. I also wish that baboon broke through your roof and ate your ass.

  66. Disgusted said...
    Tuesday October 5, 2010 at 7:46 pm Link to comment Report comment

    I posted a comment halfway through the Ashes series (after I turned it off in utter disgust) saying that my small daughter loved the English series but I will not let her watch the TGA (or D-) series. The language was foul, the humour was forced and only apparent to the hosts. It was cringe worthy and pathetic. I won’t be watching TGA and no-one I have spoken with has any intention of doing so either.

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  68. panasonic toughbook said...
    Wednesday November 17, 2010 at 12:51 am Link to comment Report comment

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